Have you ever had two guys fight over you? How about a guy who thought his friend was flirting with you (see: overly protective, possessive, delusional, insecure, I could go on), and went all passive-aggressive on his bro? Obviously with my happy-go-lucky self, I got the latter  sitch. Did I forget to mention that the guy was not my boyfriend and that I’d only met him a few days prior? Sigh. True story.

I met BT while visiting some out-of-state besties, and we hit it off. After hanging out with our freshly formed (my buds + his buds) group a few times, BT may or may not have, at some point, kissed me, to which I may or may not have, slammed a passenger car door in his face and run away. It happens.

In any case, I guess he liked putting up with some chase because he’d responded positively to my coquette little text: “you have soft lips mister!”

“Trouble” starts a-brewin’ however, when our group reunites at a pub about an hour later. The skinny: I was sitting between BT and his friend when BT left for the restroom. During this time, Friend and I got into an engaging conversation, which continued for a little while when BT returned. After, BT sort of tugs on Friend’s shoulder, pulls out his phone, and shows him something without saying a word. Friend’s facial expression evolves from confusion to comprehension to mild irritation to indifference before glancing over at me. He then decided to join our other friends’ conversation.

Me to BT: “What did you show him?”

BT shows me the text I sent him.

Me: “Why did you show that to him?????”

BT: “Because he was hitting on you. I want him to know that you’re mine.”

I was instantly annoyed. Unfortunately, I didn’t show it because I still liked BT and those buttery, fluttery feelings got in the damn way of my practical judgment. But since BT and I had an epic falling out over another issue that’ll be addressed next post, I have no qualms ripping this apart:

  1. Delusional much? Yes. His friend was NOT hitting on me. We had the most benignly platonic conversation on the face of the earth and that’s as far as I’m going to go to “justify” that.
  2. Possessive much? Oui. If BT was my husband, he would not own me. If BT was my boyfriend, he would not own me. Since BT was neither husband nor boyfriend, he doubly did not own me. I may be claimed (as in taken off the market), but remember that I decide whether or not person-in-question can claim me. Conclusion? No one will ever exercise ownership of yours truly, because I am not an object.
  3. Passive Aggressive much? Si. But that’s not my problem. If BT wants to be a little bitch (wouldn’t that be the guy’s term for it?) to his homeboy, fine. It would’ve however, been in his best interest not to because I only learned that he has jealousy, trust, and perception issues. Dangerous.
  4. Sooo, is Friend no longer allowed to talk to me? Am I no longer allowed to talk to him? Well lookie here, I’LL TALK TO WHOMEVER I DAMN WELL PLEASE. I can only imagine what BT’s rules entail when you’re in an actual relationship with him…as I mentioned earlier, I’d only known him a few days and “you’re mine” was already thrown around seriously.
  5. I’m a rather private person, aside from airing my bad dating beeswax on the internet. This is why I was irritated that BT showed a personal text of mine to his friend. And using it to snuff out imaginary competition? What poor form.
  6. Finally, everyone already knew BT liked me and that the feeling was mutual, including his friend. So really, why did he feel the need to pummel the point through by parading his cell phone about like some trophy? Right, right, right…Insecure, delusional, yadda yadda.

In conclusion, don’t be crazy.